One of the characteristics of any workplace is politics. Commonly referred to as office politics, this vicious activity has not spared any organisation.
And those who lend fodder to it, and ensure that politics dominates a healthy work environment, are the ones who gossip.
Contrary to popular belief, working professionals are no less than teenagers or others who are interested in gossip. And it is this tendency of employees, that differentiates them from being a sincere worker to someone who indulges in petty talk.
Here, we get down to analysing the different aspects of this gossip game.
The first point that has to be kept in mind is the Spanish proverb, that goes, “People who gossip to you, will also gossip about you”. This pretty much sums up the entire scenario.
Putting this across in simpler terms, a person who is a colleague, comes up to you and talks about another employee. He or she shares personal and professional details of the said person to you.
While it might all seem in good humour, the underlying fact is that, your so-called friend, for a few minutes of entertainment, has chosen to backbite about another to you.
Now, what if the same friend goes on to do this with you? That is, share details or secrets that you have confided to him or her, to another employee. While you consider this a breach of trust, it is the same that is done, while he or she gossips about others to you.
As a report in ezinearticles says, “Gossiping tells more about the person gossiping, than it does about the person being talked about”.
It goes on to say, “Not only it is extremely hurtful to the person being spoken about, but it also shows that the person who is gossiping, talks badly about other people, and that they can’t be trusted with personal and confidential information”.
So, why do many of us indulge in a behaviour of this kind?
According to personality experts, people choose to talk about others, in order to establish a connection with the other.
Quoting popular vulnerability researcher, Brene Brown, who called this as ‘common enemy intimacy”, she said, “these type of friendships aren’t true friendships, because the intimacy that surrounds the relationship is built on hating the same people and that is counterfeit trst, not real trust”.
So how does one deal with gossip?
The first way is to deal with the issue with a calm and cool head.
One must learn to differentiate between who is being helpful and who is not. That is, if you genuinely need to know about someone, in order to help them out with a problem, then there is no harm in getting to know the details of the said person.
However, if the details shared with you, are of no use to you or to the other person, then it is purely for gossip, and you are better off without it.
It is slightly tricky to avoid gossip, without offending the person who is willing to share it with you. But with the help of a few tactics, one can easily master this art of saying a firm ‘no’.
For example, you could make use of statements like, “I am not sure I’am in a good position to be having this conversation”. This apart from conveying that you would not like the matter to proceed, will also ensure that the focus remains on you or any other issue that needs discussion, like common goals or how to better one’s performance at the workplace and the like.
Another way is to ensure that you convert the entire gossip to something positive about the person involved. For every negative statement made about a co-worker, you can say a positive one.
