Hassles happen every day and sometimes many times in a single day. These hassles are why we need to have active resilience. Here's how to activate your resilience so you can focus on the hustle, not the hassle.
* A way to manage our emotional captivity is to notice and name our emotional state. When a hassle occurs, most of us become how we feel. In this way, our feelings can hold us hostage and impact our behavior.
But what if instead of I am frustrated, we instead said, I notice frustration. There is a big difference between these two statements. In the first, you fuse with and become the emotion. In the second, you separate yourself from how you feel by identifying what you notice.
* A feature of most hassles is that we feel out of control, overwhelmed, and drained. This flood of feelings derails our equilibrium and productivity. A way to re-energise is to practice a particular type of goal setting. Psychologists have shown that getting mentally energized to achieve a goal creates physiological changes in energy.
* One way to detox is to work on your gratitude and gratefulness. According to some psychologists, grateful people experience higher levels of positive emotions such as joy, enthusiasm and love. Gratitude also protects us from envy, greed and jealousy.
There are a number of ways to practice gratitude. Many people use technology to remind themselves to be grateful, via free/inexpensive apps available for Android or the iPhone.
If you would rather practice gratefulness untethered, try a gratitude walk. Pick a route, it might be in your home or outside, and spend five minutes noticing things you’re grateful for. Walk slowly and let your eyes rest on various objects, and try to engage all your senses.
* One way to rise above a hassle is to find your very own psychological thermal. A thermal, or uplift, is a small, everyday event or experience that brings a smile to our face, a spring in our step, or the feeling that the world can really be a cool place.
How can you find your own uplift? They are all around us. What’s interesting is that despite the fact we experience many uplifts a day—five or six on average—our hassles evoke a much stronger physiological and emotional response.
As neuroscientist Jill Bolte Smith observed, the physiological lifespan of an emotion is typically 90 seconds, but we often find ourselves clinging to feelings of anger, frustration, shame, or guilt.