The truth about how ordinary people achieve immense happiness and incredible feats of success is that they step out of their comfort zones and do the hard things that their more privileged, talented and qualified peers don’t have the courage, drive or determination to do.
You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things most people are avoiding. The things that frighten you and make you uncomfortable. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.
These are the things that define you. An article in marcandangel.com points out a few points which are hard to do, but will make you happy.
* Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed yourself in hundreds of little ways over time, of course you’ll crumble on the one day that things get slightly challenging.
You can prove to yourself, in hundreds of little ways, that you have the guts to get in the ring and wrestle with life.
Mental strength is built through lots of small, daily victories. It’s the individual choices we make day-to-day that build our “mental strength” muscles. We all want this kind of strength, but we can’t wish our way to it. If you want it, you have to create positive daily rituals in your life that reinforce what you desire. This can be achieved by self discipline.
It is the ability to overcome distractions and get the right things done. It involves acting according to what you know is right instead of how you feel in the moment and it typically requires sacrificing immediate pleasure and excitement for what matters most in life.
A lack of self-discipline for most of us is simply the result of lack of focus.
If you don’t know where to start, you can do it by simply washing your dishes.
Once you do this consistently for a few weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off. Then start doing a few sit-ups every morning. Eat a few vegetables for dinner. And so forth.
* We hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when our imagination doesn’t represent reality.
This can be avoided by realising that there's nothing to hold on in the first place.
Most of the things – situations, problems, worries, ideals, expectations, etc. – we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there.
What you have to remember is that just because the world around you is confusing and chaotic, doesn’t mean the world within you has to be too.
You can get rid of all the confusion and chaos inside you created by others, the past, uncontrollable events, or your general frame of mind.
It’s about being silent, and witnessing the thoughts passing through you. Just witnessing at first, not interfering and not even judging, because by judging too rapidly you have lost the pure witness.
It takes a little time to create a gap between the witnessing of thoughts and your reaction to them. Once the gap is there, though, you are in for a great surprise – that you are not the thoughts themselves, nor the chaos influencing them. You are the witness, a watcher, who’s capable of letting go, changing your mind, and rising above the turmoil.
Make an effort to notice at least one insignificant little frustration that you would normally get frustrated about. Then do yourself a favour and simply let it go.
Experience, in this little way, the freedom of being in control of the way you feel. And realise that you can extend this same level of control to every situation you encounter in life.
