How many times would all of us have heard about that failing at something was the end of everything in our life.
But in reality these are mere lies said to demoralise us. A failure is never an ending, but a beginning.
An article in marcandangel lists out a few common lies that people have been saying to demoralise over the decade.
* The most used phrase to demotivate someone is by saying that starting over isn't a good choice, and should be a last resort.
This is more commonly seen in our education system, we are asked to choose a career for a lifetime when we are just 18 or 19 years old. What if we had not made the right decision?
Instead of sticking to the wrong decision it is wise to start over again. Though it may not be easier in the beginning staying with something wrong for a lifetime is far worse.
There is a difference between letting go and starting over again. No one can win a Chess game just by moving forward.
Letting go of something is not going to be easy, however letting go is generally the healthiest part.
Life never goes as planned and behind every successful person there is story which you were afraid to do. It is always important that we focus on the future than what we did in the past.
* The next most used phrase in 'Discomfort in undesirable'. There is always discomfort in something or the other and varies depending on the individual.
The key thing to understand is that most forms of discomfort actually help us grow into our strongest and smartest selves. However, many of us were raised by loving parents who did so much to make our childhoods comfortable, that we inadvertently grew up to subconsciously believe that we don’t need discomfort in our lives.
And now we run from it constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones.
Since our comfort zones are relatively small, we miss out on most of life's greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.
However, it is wise to accept a little discomfort every day and take one step at a time to solve our most common problems.
People are made to get upset, sad, hurt and stumble. That is part of living and we learn from it and mould us into the person we want to become.
* The next aspect that people try to put you down is with grief.
They say grief is a burden that gradually devastates us over time. But in reality grief and tears will make us much stronger, wiser and kinder than before.
It’s incredibly tough to comprehend at times, but there’s a reason for everything. We must know the pain of loss, because if we never knew it, we would have little compassion for others and we would gradually become hollow monsters of egoism – creatures of sheer self-interest, never being happy with what we have.
Grief can be a burden that devastates us in the near-term, but it can also be a healthy anchor for heading and living well in the long run.
* We have all been taught to believe in what we see, hear and feel, while the logic may seem right it is not always accurate.
The stories we subconsciously tell ourselves don’t just change how we feel inside – they actually change what we see, what we hear, what we experience, and what we know to be true in the world around us. This is one of the primary reasons multiple people can go through the same exact experience, but interpret it differently.
It is all about perspective. We end up subconsciously trying to make better sense of everything in the present by using old stories and past experiences as filler. And while this approach works sometimes, other times our old stories and past experiences are completely irrelevant to the present moment, so they end up hurting us far more than they help.
When you are caught in a situation where you have to make a decision based on your past experience. Give yourself the space to think it all through, carefully. Mull it over, mindfully. And keep in mind that it’s not about proving yourself right or wrong.
* Another cliche is that it is hard to overcome a bad habit. But the truth is you ultimately become what you repeatedly do. It may be hard but it is not difficult. People always want things to be easier even if they are easy.
It hurts to admit this sometimes, but it’s worth doing. It’s worth reminding yourself that changing a habit is just a matter of recognising why you’re doing what you’re doing, and then replacing one small action with another.
Most bad habits are formed subconsciously as a coping method for dealing with stress and boredom.
These habits didn’t build up in an instant, so they won’t go away instantly either. You built them up through repetition, and the only way to change them is also through repetition – by making small, simple, gradual shifts.
You can also try by replacing this habits with good ones that will benefit you.
Try not to waste your time and energy resisting and fighting against where you are in life. Instead, invest your time and energy into getting to where you want to go, one day at a time, one small step at a time.